People will do anything to escape the guilt of their own consequences. They blame everyone else for everything they feel and their situation and will never take responsibility for what they do because they can’t handle that it might be their fault.
she is doing exactly that. but she keeps leaving me messages telling me that she is going to kill herself and how dare i not be there for her when she was always there for me. I can’t lose another person’s life by being strong for myself.
she’s threatening to kill herself about a month away from the day that he hung himself five years ago. again, it’s my fault. i am psychotic. how could i do this to her. how could i cheat on her, abuse her, make her feel powerless and like nothing. she keeps repeating over and over; how could i do this to her?
do what? get my freedom back? love myself? how dare i take charge of my own future. yes. I reacted badly when she grabbed my wrists and got in my face. yes. i bit her when she would not let me go. when she restrained me and took my freedom away i bit her until she bled. yes. i made out with some girl a week after we broke up, and did not tell her until i thought there was a chance that we may get back together. yes. i refuse to be a part of this never ending destruction cycle. yes. i am working hard to be a better person. does this make me so evil? so worthy of her hate and rage and manipulation? how can anyone believe their lies so completely?
i don’t know what to do anymore.